Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Where's the Chase?

As I've been saying all week, I've been listening to a lot of Drake. I'm talking a lot of Drake. I ran across this from his Room For Improvement mixtape and have been waxing philosophic on it.*

The song though made me wonder if it was true; is the thrill of the chill gone? Admittedly, the last time I hung out with a dude uno-a-uno (nearly a year ago) we played video games and watched horror movies fully clothed and no funny stuff until I got tired and went home. He and I are still good friends, but sometimes I do wonder what it would've been to date him. He's all sorts of awesome (and his new girlfriend can attest to that), but I wonder if other dudes are like him. Do they just hang out with girls with low expectations?

Personally, I find that when I have time to open up to a dude, I fall for him. If I'm being rushed, hurried or otherwise fussed along, I never wind up feeling it and end up pulling a Houdini. But those patient men? The ones who listen and take their time to know me? Chile...I think of them more when they let me be me, even when that means being quiet and watching them play games, write, or whatever it is they do. On occasion I'll speak up, we'll converse, and lapse back into that comfortable, chill quiet. Any dude who doesn't feel awkward with that, is a dude after my own heart.

What was I saying? Right. The thrill of the chill. Where is it? Lately it's all "what's your email? I'll Tweet you," "what's your Facebook? I'll add you," and less and less, "what's your number so I can call you later." Plus, when did men become texters? Really though? You'd rather type to me than speak to me? I understand in some situations a person can't text but c'mon son...if it ain't work, church, or a dinner with your Nana, texting is not what's hood in the streets.

When did it happen that a girl who goes slowly is the minority? Girls who wait to feel something get the shorter end of the stick in the short term (so I hear) but reap spoils in the long term. That's all fine and good for the future me. The me now? So not satisfied with that. So what's a girl learning to live to do?

After another euphoric epiphany (doesn't that sound like it should be a perfume or a store?) I decided to just live. Just do. Make mistakes. Go out. Try life. I've been exisisting for a long time and now that I'm learning there's so much more to life than reading, writing and school that made me sound like such a nerd, right? I want to try it all. Does that mean I'll be dancing on bars soon? Not alone Not really; it just means it's time to find the thrill for myself and let the chill come later, with the right person of course.

*Sidenote: Everybody's saying he's "changed," to which I think, "Not really;" he talked about what he was going through back then...and he's talking about what he's going through now. Two different states of life. Although, admittedly I dig everything from Room to So Far Gone but not so much Thank Me. #kanyeshrug

Spreading love
Dropping knowledge
Living life <3

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