Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Problem with Games...

I am friends with a lot of dudes. More dudes than females actually (my best friend ratio is 2:1, favor males), which I think is weird because I'm mostly a girl's girl. They say it's because I'm not on some "girly sh*t" and I always speak truth (is that really all it takes?). In any case, it's a fact that I'm their girl. I'm short so when we roll out I'm always in the middle or the front like a bawse, I'm always the one they come to for advice like a bawse, and I'm usually the one getting picked up, patted or tossed like a...no, wait, not this time. I am cool with the weirder sex, however, some things entirely annoy me about them.

George and I have known each other a year and some change. Recently we had a fight, and even more recently we made up. A few weeks ago I decided to speak what I wanted into existence (on some "Loving You No More" type sh*t) and roll with it. Turns out, it actually worked and I no longer harbored those deep, love-poem inducing feelings. It took all of a few hours to figure out why it wasn't worth it and it just suddenly clicked that I wasn't feeling it. Not. At. All.

However, a few nights ago we are talking politics, religion, family and all of a sudden he's on some "Yo...you turnin' me on right now," type sh*t. Really doe? We're talking bout Gawd. Jesus. Obama. And he wants get all "yeah that's cool...so what are you wearing?" on me. I doesn't make sense rationally to me, but it makes all the sense in the world emotionally and strategically.

When you love someone, but are not in love with them, the list of things you'd do for them is immediately cut down. He wanted to be treated like a brother, not a lover, and so that's what happened and now all of a sudden, he's realizing he ain't got no options. My thing is, in knowing that, why play games? Why try to even make it go there once the offer is clearly off the table? Strategically speaking, the beloved has most of the power of the lover and if dudes love anything more than free food and sometimes more than lady bits, it's power. But why play powering tripping games with a girl who's already turned her console clean off? What's the point?

Maybe this is the reason all my friends (and people who meet me at bus stops) think I'm supposed to be with an older guy (or Jewish guy, which, you know, I kinda dig Jewish guys... :) ); I don't like games unless we're talking Sega or Xbox then I kicks some ass, I like being treated like a person, not a priority, not an option (Hey, hey, hey.). I'm too old for that "I like you today and maybe I'll like you tomorrow, but I didn't like you yesterday" middle school stuff. We're grown now. That doesn't work for me anymore.

The thing is, it always happens to me this way. I'm not sure if it's something I do or say, or a culmination of my actions that makes these guys think that it should be easy to just pick up a controller and play the game after putting it on pause (or even turning it clean off). Is it the fact that it works for other girls and they don't see me differently? Or is it the fact it doesn't work with other girls, but they think I"m stupid and it'll work on me? Thoughts, suggestions, gripes? I'm all ears.

Spreading love
Dropping knowledge
Lettin off steam <3

6 comments:

Jouromeo said...

Cruel mistress, your heart ebbs with the emotional grantings of yesterday's wishes. Your passion flows with the tos and fros of a pulsating concussion. To climd a mountain or jump a broom, to wash the dishes & to freak the bedroom; you are consumed with disphoria.
There is no answer to a question you are the lock to, because the answer is you but if guidelines is your request then let me light it for you.
You may not want to seduce or charm a beau and that is righteous but this game is a serious thang that'll have a brute strong armin' a ho(no diss). Swag, style and personality is what you can refine so these men will recognize your unique(not you are unique but yes YOUR unique).
You are appreciated. No go back to last week and stop friend zoning yourself. Haha. You know its all love ;-)

Tes said...

I like that you just hit me up with some poetry :) That was really cute...

*ahem*

I didn't friendzone myself! He did. He said he wasn't about that life, I said cool and made it so in my mind, and now he's all "okay, wait, maybe I am." That's dumb -_-

I'm already charming and seductive(I think?) so that's not the problem. I think it's that I'm just too soft. Nobody takes my thug seriously :\ lol

Im said...

tes to b honest ir the same thing that was spoken about at vsb when they were talking about women friend zoning men... when you have someone underfoot you don't get a chance to appreciate them or see them in a romantic light because they will always be there. but once that sunshine of admiration goes away and you're left in the shadow then you still thinking that person wasn't so bad, oh they might be good for me.

i am in no way saying that you were underfoot, you were just available on someone else's timeline, when you took that power away they were able to see clearly. it's nothing about you its basic psychology.

Squeak Williams said...

Hmmm...lemme see.

Roses are red,
violets are blue
...nah never mind

Interesting. First off, unless i missed something, i thot dude was datin ur homegirl?

anyway, I can understand what happened here. Though I don't condone it. See, whether u made yourself known or not, I'd say that dude could sense those extra feelings in you. And he was probably flattered. He could also probably sense when you removed those feelings, and in his attempt to figure out what was different, cast a line out there to see if you'd bite. Basically you may have disrupted his world. Dont know the dude, and u know him better, but i'd venture to say that he may have friend zoned you on some "i can always fall back on Tes, if thangs aint poppin" type ish. May not have been his intention but still, he had u in reserve, like a savings account. One day he went to check his balance and it was empty, so he like WTH, i need to find out what's happened to my security blanket.

Question is, now that you are getting the attention you longed for, are us sure it's what you wanted? And are u sure he wont switch up on you again after he's sure you're back in the fold?

Jouromeo said...

Dear sweet heart Tes,

Please refer to my initial comment as I acknowledge that you may not be fully aware that, despite your personal opinion concerning your placement in this young man's eyes, you indeed were friend zoned.
Yolie & Squeakie both echoed a similar sentiment.

Again.
This is not a personal shot and we only e-thangs but I'm just going to assume that I'm Geezus @ reading personalities(in-person or not).Sounds like trouble? You may be right. :-)

Charming and seductive are some fairly strong words that are very hard to live up to. I don't know what a lot of people are (number wise) but I haven't met too many Charming & seductive people, let alone women.(I say this to say it isn't a common thing).
I hate to get all Sagey's nemesis on ya but it is a thing of game. And women definitely have a game book...I just don't know where to find it.
But hey, one of my seductive friends(she ain't charming & I have pictures) nabbed Ludacris and still has him, as he performed at my alma mater a few weeks ago and flew her in. Not that Luda is the most discerning but he is around women all the time that are throwing moist cakes at him, trying to get in on the money "train". She is one of the coolest people, was ne'er rude but if she isn't charming and seductive, then you may be pumping yourself full of your own supply of gas and thats no bueno sweetheart.

Now, endearing and super cute. H3LL YEAH! Dorky and down to Earh genuine, you are indeed. And There is not a thang wrong with any of that. Beautiful you are as you...but not as whoever is seductive and charming.
I do hope you don't feel any certain way about this, I say it out of my affection for the harsh nature of truth and my desire to help you find whatever you are looking for but in a way that actually applies to you.
If you don't want to hear anything I've said, I'm easy to ignore, i don't know you personally but just maybe, you will know the real you in a way so much more important than designing titles that sound great but don't really fit you.
I hope for you, the absolute best. See ya on VSB l8r

Tes said...

@ Squeakers,
Everything you said in addition to what Yoles and Sagey said made a lot of sense. How do I feel about it? I feel a little played, a little slighted but none worse for wear, as I guess I'm used to it happening. And a little down :\, because I'm never that girl, I'm always the one off to the side. But it's like Yoles said, my day is comin. (And no he's not dating her, they dated almost two years ago).

@ Sagey Bear,
Seductive I am not, although I've been called so on ocassion (I'm too timid to be a seductress) and I think I'm only charming when it counts for something like for school or work. I can roll with anything but cute -_- cute is for puppies and babies and the like, but I do appreciate all the other characteristics :)

And it's not my own gas :P...if I were to use my own I wouldn't use superlatives that attatch themselves to my looks as I don't think I'm a looker, but rather a thinker and a care-giver. But I do appreciate you being honest with me Sagey. Thank you.

You too Yoles and Squeakers!