Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Smallest Things Contribute to Ultimate Happiness

I've been bogged down lately in a lot of adult stuff. Finding a new job, starting school with people "misplacing" my records (I swear, it's like they don't want my money), and trying out this new "social life" thing that I hear is all the rage. In all that adult stuff my iPod decided to surprise me with "Take Me There" by Mya, Blackstreet and nem. Any kid from the nineties remembers this song as it was virtually the Rugrats song. Immediately I broke into a grin and had the insane want to dance around and or jump rope/hopscotch. Five minutes is all it took to take me back to where my biggest problems were running out of juice and Gingerbread men before All That came on after dinner. Five minutes of a simple piano riff and I was there, sitting in front of a tv screen with a stuffed bear named Moo, a juice and a pack of peaches within arms reach. Five minutes and I was overjoyed.
I forget sometimes that those same things that made me happy as a kid could make me happy now. Time to sit in the sun. Time to jump rope. Nap time. Disney movie time (I'll be honest, as we speak I'm collecting extensive Disney DVDs because my mom gave away all the VHS tapes. How could she just give up my childhood like that?! I tell you...). So today I went out and got some coloring books, some crayons and set up camp on my back porch, my iPod set to my Disney playlist (don't judge me). Before I knew it, an hour had gone by and I was just content. Peaceful. For that one hour I didn't have anything to worry about except coloring inside the lines, if I wanted.
Earlier in my day, during my designated T-Time (time between 3am and 9 am where if you aren't on fire or in dire need I don't answer calls) my best friend George calls me. He tells me a five minute story of how his morning is going, country drawl and grammar in tact, then comes to an inside joke I hadn't heard in ages and I'm laughing until I can't breathe.
Moments, small moments, large moments, still moments, loud is about the moments. Is it all joy and sunshine and 90s Nick cartoons? No. Can it be every once in awhile. Only if you make time for it. Life will take you by the ankles and try to drag you down and pull you away from the things that make you truly happy. It's your duty to yourself to hold onto that, be it with Beanie Babies (don't front like I'm the only one with a Beanie Baby in the closet), a classic Disney movie, or even those Swiss swirls you used to like. Whatever it is, hold onto it for yourself. Find happiness in it, at least for that moment.
What makes you that kiddie-giddy happy? How long has it been since you had a moment of truly blissful peace? Marinate on it, and get back to me.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Motion Can Belie Activity

I have always been a thinker. When I was a child, people would ask me questions about this or that and I distinctly remember taking a few seconds (okay, sometimes minutes) to think about it before answering. They always looked perplex that I had such "profound thought" for a kid. I just thought it was common sense. As I grew older though, I found that sense is not all that common and that thinking before you answer or act is not a desired trait these days.
I'm entering college soon and I had a few doubts and concerns. I've been out of high school a year, community college about three months and I still don't know what career I want. So I soon went to work on trying to find what I like and consider myself good at.
To outsiders looking in, I was making pointless lists and diagrams, searching and researching for nothing, and basically chillin while reading and looking out windows. I should just do it. I should just go out there and do something, anything besides sit and think and type. Move! Be! Do!
While listening to "Trashy" by J Dilla and hanging out with my (neighbor's) dog Cookie I thought to myself that moving for the sake of moving, or for the sake of other people wanting you to, doesn't lead you any nearer to who you want to be or your goals. If anything it distracts you and makes trouble, making the decision process unnecessarily long.
I figured that out earlier when I was at my job of folding and hanging at the mall. The more I focused on this one job, this job that wouldn't sustain many of my needs for stimulation (mentally, financially, socially, take your pick) the further I got from myself and what I was trying to accomplish. I got the job to help out my mother, to make it so she wouldn't worry about my few bills or nag me to death. We all have some sort of mother figure, so we know how that goes; even when you have the one thing they wanted you to have, you now need to have it better, bigger, broader.
My mother and my book addiction compelled me to find another job, but I declined. I thought more about what I wanted out of life. To my mother, my father, my friends, I was lounging like LL and Total in the 90s. But in my mind, so many things were going on that I had to decide, to do. What did I want out of life? Who did I want to be? How would I get there?
As I said before I was always a thinking child, which hasn't gone away in all these years. So I sat and thought about it for roughly 3 weeks before deciding that an English degree in Austin was what I wanted. Now the only thing to do is set that plan into motion.
The point of this whole schpeel is that thinking before you act is the smarter decision. The world is going to press upon you what it wants from you; the faster you make a decision, usually the higher the risk later and the dumber you find the decision was in the end. Think about it; in the check out line at a store you see the candy there and the cashier's ringing you up. You don't really want the candy. Or do you? You don't have much time before they finish ringing you up and if you get it later you have to make a whole new transaction. Buy it. Buy it now! See? Pressure. Fast decisions, movement before you're ready, leads to hasty and rash results. You probably didn't even want that candy.
So what do you think? Take your time, feel it out and get back to me.