Monday, May 9, 2011

Skanky/Beautiful

This morning I woke up and perused my closet. I usually don't even step into my closet, as I have most of my clothes in bins and a cabinet near my bed which is why my mother thinks I live like a vagabond/homeless person. I found this really awesome, kind of low-cut yellow shirt. Color looks good on me, so I tried it on and found it fit perfectly. I put on some shorts that were not too short, and some flats. Pulled my hair back with a hair band and put on some large hoops. I looked good. I felt better.

So I'm walking around campus after my final final, iPod thumping something heavy when I hear some dude calling. I pull out my buds and look up to him smiling at me. He tells me he had to stop me and tell me I looked beautiful. After a shocked thank you, he smiled and went on about his day and I went on about mine, feeling a little more uplifted.

After class I went to scavenge for jobs at the local outlet mall. I ran into an old friend from high school, Roxie. Now Roxie is the Myspace model type and she knows this. Upon seeing me, her face went from assessing to acknowledgement. She came over to me and said hello. She thought I looked different or was different; she also thought I was looking quite skanky.

I wonder if it's pettiness that drives women to find things wrong with each other. Was she the only woman all day to give me that look? Of course not; I'm a big up top type girl and the shirt is a tad risque but in a classy way. Those other women, upon seeing me see them, would smile or nod except this one rude lady at the bookstore who looked at me as if I gave her visual herpes. I know they're doing what I sometimes do; they're wondering about my character, about my lifestyle, about my respect for myself. They always say don't judge books by their covers, but now-a-days, who really reads books? We're so used to getting our synopses quickly, instantly even, that we don't take the time out to even read a page of the actual book.

Men are so much easier to decipher in this situation: they're usually genuine. And when they're not, they just want to sleep with you. Either way, a woman can derive a compliment from that. I wonder if that guy had it in his mind to make my day, or if he thought I got that same phrase all the time. I wish I could've told him how much it means to me to be called beautiful; I don't get it often and I feel it even less. I hope that more men take a page from him; he spoke his piece and let me marinate on it, and now, I know definitely the next time I see him, I'll be the one approaching.

Was I beautiful to him because I was "skankily clad" or was it my content spirit shining through me that made me so? And was Roxie right? Was I technically skanky by what I was wearing, with or without prior knowledge of who I am? Do you think superficially beautiful women try to intentionally tear at the internally beautiful ones? Am I the only one who takes joy in proving people who thought they knew you, really don't?

Spreading love
Dropping knowledge
Sharing beauty <3

4 comments:

Im said...

Was I beautiful to him because I was "skankily clad" or was it my content spirit shining through me that made me so? And was Roxie right? Was I technically skanky by what I was wearing, with or without prior knowledge of who I am? Do you think superficially beautiful women try to intentionally tear at the internally beautiful ones? Am I the only one who takes joy in proving people who thought they knew you, really don't?

tes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar... maybe you looked fresh and sweet with a touch of sexy and he appreciated that... i say go on and get sexy looking with your bad self! i find it hard to believe that you were looking anything near skanky-you need more people- you already described the blouse as tasteful!

as for women, we/they are a prickly set of people... and every kind whether beautiful or not attempt to tear down others. some women/people feel like they have to pull others down in order to come up, ignore those broads.. what they eat don't make you shyt!!

i surprise people on a daily basis... keeps me smiling.. carry on young tes, carry on

ps i'm still salty about squeak having a pic come up with his comments and i don't :"(

Tes said...

Yoles,
I'm cool with being a sexy, smoky cigar, however, I don't want people complaining about my smoke. Can I have both?

Im said...

tes don't worry about people complaining about your sexy... jealousy i say...

own your sexy and bask in its sunshine!! don't let anyone rain on your feelings

you can have anything you want! believe that

Squeak Williams said...

I say, do you. kanyeshrug