Friday, May 13, 2011

"Doing You"

 I hate routines. I hate taking vitamins everyday. I hate waking up at the same time everyday. I hate going to the same places. That being said, I love twisting my hair while stretching my legs every night, around 11:15. The fact that I've sort of fallen into this natural hair thing denotes my tendency in life; I think about it for awhile, then one day out of the blue I just decide to do it. At first I was determined; I was reading every hair blog, reading every product's full list of ingredients, and wondering how much of everything to buy. Two months in, I've learned one major thing that's been incorporated throughout my life. You ready? Here it goes.

Nobody can tell you how to do you.

It seems so simple, but the fact is, it's always so much harder. From a really early age we learn to emulate those around us to receive acceptance and attention, and I don't think that ever changes. However, once you get older and start looking around at all these people who are like you, but not like you, you start to wonder "Who am I really?" When the question first comes up we feel fear; we've spent all this time playing pretend and now, what? We're not who we think we are?

I learned at an early age to adapt to absolutely everything. The real me didn't come to a head until my 20th year (yep, this very year). I learned to try and think and fend for myself (which is also, so much harder than the other adults make it look) and make my own decisions. A lot of times, just like with cooking, I just made a mess and things blew up in my face. But every now and then, a new piece of who I am would be revealed and make me want to keep trying, and keep going.

As for my hair, I learned very quickly what it likes (Shea butter, 100% olive and sweet almond oil, and a little orange oil) and what it doesn't (shampoos and gels). I may try new techniques on it, or things I've heard, but I never stray far from what makes my hair feel like a cloud and smell like sunshine as that's what my hair is.

In life, I think, we're all so determined to be liked for who we are, not realizing we have to like ourselves first. We all want people to accept us for who we are, not knowing that their acceptance comes first from our accepting ourselves. Be proud enough of who you are to be you, and do you, all the time, not just when you think it won't matter, because actually, it always does, and you (the real you) always does too.

Spreading love
Dropping knowledge
Accepting you for you <3


Squeak Williams said...

I think my problems at times is I have a hard time figuring out what "me" is. I was one way growing up in Houston, but now I live in a different state, different life, and as a father and husband, I find myself at conflict with what that "me" is.

Sometimes I feel like the adult man, i've become and sometimes I feel like screw, candypaint, slurred words, and heavy bass. Nothin wrong with that, but i realized that my family doesn't know that side of me, so it's a shock to them when I revert back to that.

I think evolution is important though. Evolving as a person, growing and finding new tastes, new passions to match or sometimes replace the old ones. It's just I sometimes feel that my new self is selling out my old self. If that makes sense.

Tes said...

I agree that evolution is important, but not if you can't take some of what made you forward with you. I did a post awhile ago about reconciling the different parts of ourselves; it's hard, and takes a lot of practice, but once you appreciate everything in it's own little niche, you can incorporate parts of it into your whole self.

All of it is you, Squeak, you just have to find a way to make all of it work in one person. :)