Saturday, April 9, 2011

Musings (1)

A lot of my time I spend thinking. My mother thinks it's a bad thing (because I think and don't live in her opinion) but I think (see what I did there?) that those who act without thought are usually the ones who end up somewhere they don't want to be. Not every thought I have is gonna take me somewhere, but I muse a lot of the time (mostly between classes) and figured I should start keeping lists of them. So here goes!

  1. How much is respect really worth? I know there are men who die for respect and fights get started over it, but with me being me and being respected so much by objects of my just doesn't seem to cut it. "I respect you" is like the new way of saying "You're awesome, but I wouldn't date you" at least by the dudes in my age bracket. Does it mean something else once you get older?
  2. Teaching is calling me but I'm trying to ignore the call. I don't want to get caught up in the "Rah rah!" of it all and forget that, as an advanced student, I was completely privy to all the crap teachers have to put up with, not just from parents but other teachers, their kids, the school, the board, the state... When children are getting progressively dumber with each passing generation (google it - it'll scare the crap out of you) and parents tending to coddle and throw them to the lions so to speak, that leaves a small window of opportunity for educators to try and pull something out of these kids. I think I have the moxy for it, but I'm so damn anal about everything I think I'd get disillusioned really quickly. And I don't even like kids.
  3. There are a lot of creepers out there. A lot of creepers. From the ones who leer at me from car windows, to the ones who call me their soul mate after knowing me two days. I know logically not every dude I meet is going to be a creeper, but it's gotten to the point I expect dudes to be creepy which is so no bueno. For instance I met a guy at school who seemed perfectly normal. Asked me out on a date, super polite, all that jazz girls really like, right? Wrong. He called me that whole first night, texted me that whole next day, and invited himself over to my house (without the directions, cause please believe I'm not that far behind the curve) when I told him emphatically that I like to go slow. *facepalm* I realize you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to get your prince or whatever, but this parade of froggy creepers is starting to look like a sign of the apocalypse.
  4. I wanted to be a home-maker today. See, everyday, because I don't know what I want to do with my life (though everyone around me assumes I should by now) I go through careers in my head, or what I know of them rather, and see if I could fit there. Housewives are cool unless they're being televised from every major and minor city/town/province in America; they maintain the house, which sounds easy but requires lots of planning and charts and calendars. I could do planning and charts and calendars. But later, I went to a Chinese restaurant and opened my fortune cookie and it said "Avoid uncomplicated jobs; they will squander your talent." Really though? The one time I even open a fortune cookie and it has to be relevant like that? On to the next one then...
  5. I don't like outings with my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly. But sometimes I just look at her and wanna hug her throat. She tells people things about me in a tone that says "Isn't that the stupidest thing you ever heard?" or "Mmhm, right like she can do any of that." No, before you go there, that's not what she says, but it's all in the tone. I also don't like how she volunteers me for things; her friends will need a baby sitter and she'll say "Oh, Tes can do it, she's not doing anything." Okay, that may be true, but who says I want rugrats intruding on my nothingness? I feel like the Bentley to her Diddy, and even Bentley got tired of getting wet after awhile. That's all I'm saying.
  6. I need to get a interesting job. I'm sending out resumes and calling a bunch of places but I keep getting the same answers. I don't like to tell people that I'm trying, because then they impose themselves onto, into and all around my plan; I like to have my ducks in a row before I tell anybody, which I don't see anything particularly wrong with...but is it wrong? Do people need to know what I'm doing for their own peace of mind?
  7. I want to live in a cabin with running water and Internet, with an awesome antique bookstore in the town a few miles away from it. I don't know where I'm gonna find it, how I'm gonna afford it, or even if it's possible, but I am surely going to try my hardest to get it.

What about you guys? How often do you just muse on things? And what do you think about children getting dumber, or rather, what do you think we can do as a community and country to reverse that? Can fortune cookies give good advice? Am I wrong for wanting to plan things out before I tell people (even if that prohibits movement for the time being)?


1 comment:

Squeak Williams said...

YAAAY!!! I can post!

I muse ALL THE TIME. It's the life of a contemplator. I have a hard time following my own train of thought at times. It helps me write also.