Virginity and Pride Can Go Hand-in-Hand

People who know me, and some who've known me, perceive me to be some level of freak or sexual deviant, to which I quickly point out that as a virgin I can be neither. What I tell them instead is that I'm body conscious (also what I say to those who call me a hypochondriac) and enjoy the sensual things in life which is true, and can really be applied to anything, not just sex. I sometimes forget though that the line between the two is so easily blurred by today's standards.

I like to study things that interest me and that I don't know about; sex is no exception. The fact that I seemingly know so much about it isn't because of practicing, but rather book learning; there's just somethings a book can't teach you. Plus, books and movies lie; it's never that smooth or that cool or that easy and 75% of women don't orgasm during intercourse, and 12% have never orgasmed at all. See that? Book learning, statistics, not actual practice.

What I noticed is if you put my amalgamation of facts together with the fact that I know (and love) my body and know what makes me happy/feel good/etc, apparently you've got the perfect combination for the designated freaky friend. I don't mind that so much; I mind the implication that I'm lying about my virginity a lot more than I mind being "freaky" by some random person's standards.

It happens often that when I'm inducted into a new group of friends and the sex conversation comes up I get the incredulous looks; are twenty-year-old virgins taboo now? It makes me feel ostracized and like I'm missing something, until I remember that most of the people having vast amounts of sex with vasts amounts of people are either lying or searching for something in all the wrong places. A lot of women who've had sex early say they feel proud of me for sticking to my guns for so long and that they wish they would've waited. A lot of men tell me to hold onto it; when I find the right guy, he'll know exactly what to do with the whole package, not just the body.

I once read that women take sex so emotionally and personally because women have to invite a man into themselves, whereas men can just go wherever they like to. Because women have to invite a man in, we're basically opening ourselves up to them in ways we don't for other people and by doing that all of what is in us is open to that man. That's one of the reasons I suppose I'm waiting; I don't want to invite the wrong one in. I want to be in love with a person and feel safe with them before making that step. I'm shy cautious.

I forget sometimes that virginity is something to be proud of; the way tv and other media splash sex everywhere as if everyone is doing it sometimes can cloud my reasons for why I've remained as I am for as long. I've heard many a boy say they couldn't "break in" a virgin, I've not once heard a man say he wasn't willing to be patient and work with one. Though I've seen many a rolled eye from girls with checkered sexual histories, I've never once heard an honest woman say that she wished she wouldn't have waited. I remember that love is worth more than sex by any measurements and nobody should ever be ashamed to wait on love.

Why to do you think that virginity is sometimes sneered at? And what's the conundrum between sensuality and sexuality? Is it too hard to disconnect the two as separate things (that work really well together)? Lastly, do you wish you would've waited?

Spreading love
Dropping knowledge
Showing pride <3