Thursday, September 1, 2011

Womanhood Is Sneaky

I've been catching my parents looking at me. I mean, yes, they can look at me however they want cause, you know, I'm theirs and whatnot, but the look has changed a little. It's kind of like that look I see them with in all my baby pictures, but it's also a little sad. Sometimes they just look at me like a stranger, as if I'm a body-snatcher in their kid's body.

That, and a few other things have led me to believe that I may be a woman now. When did that happen?

Sometime in the last few weeks I've felt...different. My job is going fine, I'm saving my money and painting my life in my mind's eye with broad brush strokes. I'm more accepting of myself as a person who, admittedly, has flaws like anyone else. I'm more ambitious with my dreams. I'm less focused on what my life is missing, and more so what it's full of that I love. I'm a woman.

I'm focused on myself as a person and understanding what it means to be me now, and what it'll mean to be me in the future. I'm cleaving more to my own understanding of the world than what I'm told of it and see of it. I still dig poetry and music, so not a lot about me has changed in my own eyes; I still feel like the same person, but I'm being looked at differently. Like a woman.

I feel as though womanhood just snuck up on me.  When did it all happen?

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