Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Sex Is Overrated*

*Unless you're ready.

I was a virgin until one day, after meeting the right man, I wasn't anymore. It's as simple as that. Folks seem to put this stigma on girls who wait as long as I did (and also stigmas on girls who don't wait nearly that long, but I digress), that we're prudes, Jesus freaks, or terrified of penises, which is (usually) not the case. It certainly wasn't the case in mine.

What I was waiting on was to fall in love. At one point it seemed like it would be easier to give it away/settle on just anybody than to do it the right way (It can be argued that the "right way" would've been to wait until I was married but...). I decided it didn't mean that much to me, the sex part; if I couldn't find someone I trusted or loved enough to partake of it with, it would've been worthless and I would've sold myself short. I gave up on love for awhile and stopped looking; I decided to put my relationship with myself at the forefront.

And in waltzed Tarzan...

It's not like they make it look in the movies: all effortless and flawless make-up and smooth transitions. Not at all. But as long as you've got someone who you're learning with, who you're not afraid to have a little fun with, it's usually a lot better than the movies.

Orgasms though (and I don't mean to burst your bubble) are tough to come by. You're always  at a state of "almost..." Don't get me wrong, it still feels amazing and powerful and overall goo-od, but if you're expecting it to be the way it is when you do it yourself? Nope. Sorry. If you're expecting that person to hit it out of the park those first couple times? Sorry again. As long as it took you to learn it, it'll probably take them twice as long, maybe more if you're unwilling to talk about it which is a key.

I love talking about it. With him, of course. It helps me learn what he likes, what I like, and how we can incorporate more of that for later. I will admit though, I do hold out on a few tidbits here and there. I could be dirty, I could be kinky, I could be all those things but sometimes...Sometimes I worry Tarzan wouldn't be able to handle the hypersexual side of me, at least not without viewing me completely differently. I think that's  more of a "me" issue than a "he" issue though, and I'm working on it.

If you can't talk to that person about sex, you probably shouldn't be having it with them. If you're "settling" for that person instead of waiting for whatever it is you really want, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Also, if you're embarrassed about buying condoms or getting your birth control? Definitely not.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard women tell me they regretted their first time. They regretted it was so soon, that it was with the wrong person; overall, they wish they would've waited, like I did. I don't regret it, and never will; it was all around right for me. The right person, the right time and most importantly, I was ready. Nobody can tell you when you're ready, nobody but you. You've got to be honest with yourself, above all else, before you enter into a sexually intimate relationship.

That's all I got (so far).


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